I have to start back on placement on Monday night, but I'm feeling really positive about it, which is a big deal for me. Having some romantic issues going round my head to stop me dwelling on it may have helped! I'm completely smitten with one of my housemates, we get on so well and have very similar tastes and views on things, but I just have no idea how to tell him. He hides things just like I do, so I don't know if I'm misreading the little signals he gives out or he's "just not that into me"! We only have a few weeks left of living together, and though I'd be disappointed if he didn't feel the same way, to be honest I'd just be thankful to know one way or the other! It doesn't help that we're both so busy that we have no time to go out together, coz I think a bit of the ol' social lubricant would help lol! I pray to the Gods for guidance and the strength to tell him how I feel. It's exciting to feel so strongly for someone, coz I never have before, but it's horrible not having it reciprocated. Any advice would be much appreciated!

I did a Beltane ritual and used it to help motivate me in my studies and feel positive about working on delivery suite, which can be exhausting and scary. But I have some lovely mentors to work with and I'm gonna be really confident and do my best. It was great to get the old tools out and honour the Gods.

I'm making a little altar for this purpose, sort of a midwifery altar. It's basically a coloured piece of card, more like a poster, so I can stick stuff on it and quickly hide it away from prying eyes if I need to. I've got pictures of people, characters, and midwives who inspire me and give me strength, and positive affirmations written down. I'll also decorate it with pictures of flowers and maybe animals that represent strength. I also want to put a pic of these fabulous posters which one NHS trust in the UK has made to promote breastfeeding to younger people. They make the young Mums look amazing! I'm gonna put my midwifery badge, my pinard stethescope, midwifery cards and my fob watch on it too (if I ever find the bloody thing!), so I can look at it when I grab them before I leave for work.

Hope you're all good out there in covenspace land, and don't forget any advice (especially from the male perspective) would be great.

Merry part

Araceli